The Big Conundrum: Getting clear on what your dream life looks like
If you are anything like me, and I am guessing you are because you’re here, then you know very intimately what it feels like to be plugging through life without a holy clue as to what you want to do with it. Educated guess: I bet you want to stop drawing a big fat blank when you ponder what you want out of life. I know, I felt that way for a LONG time. The feeling came with it’s own cargo ship of negativity. There were a lot of times that I felt like maybe I was just a boring, passionless, mediocre gal, and that crushed me. Ya know?
Here we go
I have spent many years believing that there is something more for me. I have had an innate belief in myself but have deeply struggled with “my place”. For me, this particular journey has been about what I want to do with my life, in terms of a “career”. By nature, I am an unconventional soul. The nine to five life does not appeal to me and I am staunchly stubborn in this regard. Needless to say, I have spent many years as a waitress because, in my limited scope of possibilities, that was what fit. However, the question has always lurked, “is this all there is for me?” Is this really the way I want to spend this one life I have been blessed with?
The answer has always been a blaring, raucous, NO!
Getting clear on what that means has been a lot less cheerleadery though. It’s frustrating isn’t it? To believe you are meant for something uniquely you but having no actual crystal ball to show you what that something is. Believing that the blueprint to your dream life exists in some corner of your mind and you are the only one with the key to unlock it can be a very helpless feeling.
But seriously, what & how & can I do it???
I figured, if I am feeling this way, others must be too. Right?
I know so many people who are just doing what they think they should be doing, or started out in a career and now feel stuck, or are afraid of doing something new, and even if they mustered up the courage to change, what would they do?? This is the heartbeat of Plucky Broads. We ALL, the whole lot of us, have something to offer. (Yep, even you). Something that will feed our souls and in turn, feed the souls of those around us.
Getting clear on what our dream life looks like is not impossible, not by a long shot, but it does require commitment, effort, and intentional living.
Some practical tips for finding clarity…
Get yourself a soulzercise routine. (It’s jazzercise, but for the soul. No spandex required.)
Here’s a soulzercise grab bag for ya…
Five minutes at the beginning of your day, for starters. We all have an extra five minutes. Make it a habit. Check out this post I wrote for starting a meditation practice.
The freedom to dream big act
Poof. I have officially granted you permission to dream. It’s not just for kids and it’s never too late. Write them down. If you’re having trouble getting started, use these prompts:
- In terms of my financial state, I would like to…
- It would be a dream come true if I could…
- I would like my relationship with myself to grow in these ways…
- If I could spend my time….I would be on cloud nine.
My own list was pretty vague but it was a place to start. This was all it entailed:
Be my own boss
Use my humor
Umm, okay..pretty murky, eh? But, I just sat with this list and trusted that deep down I knew how to turn that into something just for me. It’s helpful to get clear on what your core values are and align your dreams with them. I’ve created a handy Core Values Worksheet that you can have for free by clicking here.
Believe in yo’self, yo!
I’ll say it again, believe in yourself! You are capable and worthy of an extraordinary life. Don’t limit what your life will be by talking all that shizz to yourself. Honest to god, it is the quickest way to crushing your dreams. Start rewiring your brain. (Note: It takes time.) Get into a routine of self-affirmations, and when you catch yourself sassin’ yourself, stop and say something nice in its stead. Write down your top five favorite mean things to say to yourself and then directly under them write the opposite.
I am a loser with no direction.
I am extraordinary and unique with so much to offer the world.
Read these positive affirmations erryday. It starts to shift you. I promise.
Also, believe that everything you want and dream already exists! Do you want to be as rich as the queen you are? That money exists. Do you want to help endangered orangutans in Borneo? That job exists! So, when you start doubting the sanity of your dreams, just remember and believe that they already exist, in the actual world, right meow.
The Law of Attraction
We’ve all heard this. It might even make you throw up a little bit. I’m not going to push The Secret on you, but I do believe that we are only as big as we allow ourselves to dream. If you can dream it, then you can create it. If you can’t dream it, how can you possibly create it?
Understand what is holding you back and then let it go
For me…this was HY-UGE! I really believe that in the little corners of our souls, we already know what our purpose is, but all the mucky muck gets in there and blocks our access to it. By mucky muck, I am talking about shame. Understanding our shame is a super powerful tool. Shame is that extremely annoying (and powerful) voice that tells us we aren’t good enough, smart enough, loveable enough…Not ENOUGH.
I call bullshit.
Shame can stop us dead in our tracks. We need to see where shame is rearing it’s ugly head and strip it of it’s power. For me, a powerful way in which shame kept me tethered to mediocrity was this underlining thought, “I am foolish for believing that there is some greatness in me. I shouldn’t aim high because I am not good enough.”
Gaw-ly, Debbie Downer.
I honestly didn’t even realize this belief existed in me until I really started listening. The funny thing is, I really don’t believe this on a conscious level, but there it was, stinking up my worth.
A flippin’ fantastic book to read regarding shame is Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. I encourage you to read it.
I know for me this is a tough one. When I get really bothered by the fact that I am not where I want to be, I hold on really tight to that information and I start forcing things. Relax. If you start following these steps, clarity will come, but you have to give it space to be seen and heard. I believe this is where mediation really comes in handy.
Punch Fear in the Face!
For me, for you, for your children. Yea, yea, some fear is healthy. Like staying out of shark infested pools. Some is not. Like choosing not to shower because there is a tiny spider on the ceiling near the vicinity of the bathroom. Keeping yourself small because you don’t know what being the biggest bad assierist version of yourself will look like is in that same boat. (FREE hint: IT LOOKS AWESOME!!)
Wrap it up!
This is just a starting point. In the coming months I plan on delivering more in depth actionables. So, hang tight. Don’t wait for me though, start diving in. Just take one step in the direction of your dreams. That could be reading an inspiring book, or taking a class. It’s movement & that is must. Figuring out what you want starts with you. You are enough, Plucky Broad!
Let me know how you’re doing!!